Children in One Parent Families

Many commentators have argued that it is less desirable for children to be brought up by one parent than by two parents.

This page summarises recent relevant research which combines the results of many different studies. It also looks at how we can assist children who are adjusting to family change and also those simply living in a stable one parent family.

 

Overall Effects Of Separation And Divorce On Children

Not all children living in one parent families will have lived with their absent parent. However, for those whose parents were living together there is now a large amount of research showing the effects of family breakdown on children.

The results of a survey based on pooled data from 80,000 adults suggest that parental divorce has an adverse effect on children's lives Compared with those raised in intact two-parent families, adults who experienced a parental divorce had lower psychological well-being, more behavioural problems, less education, lower job status, a lower standard of living, lower marital satisfaction, a heightened risk of divorce, a heightened risk of being a single parent, and poorer physical health.

The view that children adapt readily to divorce and show no lingering negative consequences is clearly inconsistent with the cumulative research in this area.

However, several qualifications should be noted. Most importantly, the average difference between children from divorced and staying together families is small.

This suggests that divorce is not as severe a stress for children as other things which can go wrong during childhood. Divorce may represent a severe stress for some children, resulting in a substantial disadvantage and decline in well being, but for other children divorce may be relatively inconsequential. Some children may show improvement following divorce.

 

Effects Of Divorce By Gender

For children, research shows that the negative effects of divorce on social adjustment are stronger for boys than for girls. Social adjustment includes measures of popularity, loneliness, and cooperativeness.

In other areas, however, such as academic achievement, conduct or psychological adjustment, no differences between boys and girls are apparent.

The research examining the effects of divorce on adults also shows very little difference between the effects on men and women, with one exception. Although both men and women from divorced families obtain less education than do those from continuously intact two-parent families, this difference is larger for women than for men. One possible reason is that non-custodial fathers are less likely to finance the higher education of daughters than of sons.

 

Effects of Separation On Different Ages of Children

Pre-school children

Observation of children during the first year after parental separation showed that pre-school age children cannot understand the meaning of divorce. Consequently they react to the departure of a parent with a great deal of confusion. Because they do not understand what is happening, many become fearful.

For example, a child may wonder, "Now that one parent has gone, what is to stop the other parent from leaving also?"

Young children also tend to see themselves at the centre of the world. This leads some children to blame themselves for their parents’ divorce. For example, they may think, "Daddy left because I was bad." Regression to earlier stages of behaviour is also common among very young children.

Young Children

Children of primary school age have greater maturity and can grasp the meaning of divorce more clearly. However, their understanding of what divorce entails may lead them to grieve for the loss of the family as it was, and feelings of sadness and depression are common.

Some children see the divorce as a personal rejection. However because being self-centred decreases with age, many can place the blame elsewhere - usually on a parent.

Adolescents

Adolescents are more affected by their own age group and less dependent on the family than younger children. For this reason, they may be affected less directly by the divorce. However, adolescents may still feel a considerable amount of anger toward one or both parents. In addition, adolescents are concerned about their own relationships.

The divorce of their parents may lead them to question their own ability to maintain a long term relationship with a partner.

 

Changes In Effects Over Time

Comparison of early studies of divorce with more recent studies suggests that more recent groups of children are showing less severe effects of divorce than earlier groups. Two explanations are worth considering.

Firstly, as divorce has become more common, attitudes toward divorce have become more accepting, so children probably feel less stigmatised and will find it easier to obtain support from others in similar circumstances.

Secondly, because the legal and social barriers to divorce were stronger in the past, couples who obtained a divorce several decades ago probably had more serious problems and experienced more conflict prior to separation than today.

 

Why Divorce Lowers Children’s Well Being

Various reasons can be found for divorce affecting children’s well being. These are detailed below, together with evidence on how the effects can be minimised.

Parental Absence

Some studies show that children who experience the death of a parent exhibit problems similar to those of children who 'lose' a parent through divorce. These findings support the view that the absence of a parent for any reason is problematic for children.

Research also shows that children who have another adult (such as a grandparent or other relative) to fill some of the functions of the absent parent have fewer problems than do children who have no substitute for the absent parent.

In general, studies show that a close relationship with both parents is associated with positive adjustment after divorce, except in high conflict divorces, when frequent contact with the non-custodial parent may do more harm than good.

Custodial Parent’s Adjustment